Financial problems give me headache most of the time. And I have been lucky because my mind is not ruled by my emotion. Every time I ask God to help me he is there, provided I am only asking for what I need. Now I intentionally ask him to please give me some help for fixing some of my financial worries. And he did, I flew back to Manila to fix my previous employment, the thing is that instead of having a few extra for my birthday or for my upcoming bills I wasted money just because I was not able to wake up early, like my flights schedule is at 4:15am but fell asleep that night and woke up late. Running late for my flight and still I went to the airport but was not entertained for the reason that I am late for the check-in forced to buy new flight ticket because I wanna spend my birthday here in Davao City and I cannot wait to hear the sound of my sisters dog bark, the buses passing near the highway and the sound the view of the airplane passing by up in the sky. I am here now sitting, feeling free in my room. And I calculated my funds turns out that I only have enough money for my bills and all other expenses what was provided to me is all I need to cover my other debts but not for my lucky day. When I look back I can have a lot of regrets like I could have played call of duty or left for dead to stay awake until my scheduled flight time to save money, but then again it makes me feel sick and irritated and then I asked God why can't I turn it into a positive experience? So that my heart will feel light and my mind won't be bothered by my own little accusing voice. Sometimes maybe I need to be stupid to understand and stay smart, though it is a very stupid idea. God wills it bad or good gaining weight or losing guts he wills my every moment.
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